Thinking about the assignment 5 presentation and the responses to it from both tutors and others. Tutors unhappy, others bemused. The presentation went very badly, partly due to lack of preparation perhaps, but also technical difficulties - that threw me. These can be very little thinks - just before I started the presentation I was showing the amazing text facility on the iPhone to my neighbour, as she had asked what the device was, and noticed as I got up to speak that it was missing a bit - this upset me, the room was hot - I got very hot, very dry, and very frustrated with the internet connection that was working too slowly for me to do the talk that I had in mind at pace I had in mind - the fun clicks and farts on my assessment three flash presentation, which sort of makes a mockery of it, while remaining honest - I am not wanting to take the piss, but for me the humour is part of it - the fact that I have called it an assignation, the sounds, the self ridicule in the photos and the feel of the site. But all the comedy went from the presentation because it was not working, and I went flat - It went flat - just like a comic who fails to raise a laugh - worst feeling. But the upshot was also that the tutors did not think that what I was doing was the right direction - and it is this that I have been thinking about mostly - is it or not, and if not, what is?

I still think that what I have done answers both the criteria of assessment five, and is an honest response to the lectures that we have been presented with.

It has been uncomfortable, in that it feels very self indulgent rather than an intellectual exercise.

I still maintain that I am at the college in relation to my role as teacher rather than as an artist in my own right.

So dissagrements over childrens work, photography - can students work be called Art?

The prevelence of junk at the degree shows - maybe my junk time has come.

The feeling of not being worthy, or academic enough

the trompe l'oeil web design

aimed at students

Still excited by collecting

Still intent on web design and exploring media

The Huge about of work that I put in - and the fact that mostly I feel that I was getting positive feedback, until it was really too late for me to do anything about it.

The experimental - learning the software, setting up the site, finding ways of doing the feedback - all relevent - perpahs also in relation to school students and my own dyslexic tenencies.

Following further feedback - beginning to change my mind - needed to have more of an academic approach to the Research Methods - not so personal, should have been pushing the pedagogic, getting lost in the too personal perhaps. But then what about the practical and the skills base, which is a primary reason for me doing the MA?